


Caras Falsas

by on_the_wing



Category: Starfighter (Comic)
Genre: Childbirth, Crack, Darkfic, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Español | Spanish, I'm Sorry My Spanish Sucks, M/M, Mpreg, Substance Abuse
Language: Español
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-06
Updated: 2019-01-07
Packaged: 2019-10-05 18:27:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 508
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17330180
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/on_the_wing/pseuds/on_the_wing
Summary: Todos tienen secretos. (English translation at the end)





	1. Verguenza

**Author's Note:**

> ESL fic writers are always apologizing for their English but WHY? This is to show you what happens when someone with English as a first language tries to write a fic in another language. The last time I attempted any Spanish was probably about 20 years ago and it shows. :D
> 
> English "translation" is in the end notes.

Cain esta embarasado, y Deimos es el padre del nino. "Cain, no fuma! Eres embarasado! Pensa del nino!"

"Calle pendejo, fumo si quiero!" Cain se ahoga in cerveza--que lastima!

Deimos se saca y se reanima como la madre de Lemminkainen. Dice, "Necesitas ir a la iglesia. Eres un puto sucio, Cain."

Cain grita, "Pero fuiste tu quien me convirtio en un puto!"

De repente, Praxis abre la puerta! Su cara es lleno de choque. "Como? Que pasa? Por que estoy aqui?"

Deimos sonrie, pero no habla. Puede hablar normalmente pero no habla con nadie mas que cain, para gaslightirse.

"Cain, eres embarasado?" Praxis dice. "Ay dios mio, lo siento! Esto es toda mi culpa."

La camara se acerca on la cara de deimos! Todos las caras son llenas de choque!!!!

-el fin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translation: 
> 
> Cain is pregnant and Deimos is the father of the baby. "Cain, don't smoke! You're pregnant! Think of the child!"
> 
> "Shut up asshole, I'll smoke if I want to!" Cain drowns himself in beer, what a pity.
> 
> Deimos fishes him out and revives him, like Lemminkainen's mother. He says, "You need to go to church. You're a dirty whore, Cain."
> 
> Cain shouts, "But it was you who made me into a whore!"
> 
> Suddenly, Praxis opens the door. His face is full of shock. "What? What's happening? Why am I here?"
> 
> Deimos smiles, but doesn't talk. He's able to talk normally, but he doesn't talk to anyone but Cain, so he can gaslight him. 
> 
> "Cain, are you pregnant?" Praxis says. "My god I'm sorry. This is all my fault."
> 
> The camera zooms in on Deimos' face! All the faces are full of shock!
> 
> \--the end


	2. La Natividad

Despues de Deimos y Praxis luchan con cuchillos por su honor, Cain entra en trabajo prematuro debido a miedo. Los tres padres necesitan ir rapidamente al hospital!  
  
"Use su cinturón de seguridad, Cain!" Praxis dice. "Seguridad primero! Pensa del nino!"  
  
"Dios mio, eres estupido!" Cain responde. "Estamos en un autobus, no en coche! Ves algun cinturon de seguridad aqui?"  
  
Deimos va al frente y corta el cinturon del conductor de autobus. Vuelve a Cain y le da el cinturon con una sonrisa inocente.  
  
"Gracias," el embarasado dice. Pongase el cinturon encima de su propio cinturon.  
  
La boca de Praxis abre, pero no sonido no sale.  
  
Deimos vuelve al frente y mata el conductor--el tonto conducia muy despacio. Lo empuja hacia afuera, y se sienta en el asiento del conductor. El autobus se queja pero finalmente logra 80mph.  
  
El autobus se estrella por la ventana del hospital. Enfermas gritan. Deimos y Praxis llevan el Cain gimiendo a través de la puerta del autobus y en la sala de emergencias.

"Necesitamos un medico ahora!" Praxis grita. "Eso hombre esta en trabajo!"  
  
Todos lo miran fijamente. Deimos blande su cuchillo a un medico, y el medico palidece. Despues de cinco minutos, Cain esta en camilla y en su camino a la sala de parto.  
  
"Empuja, Cain, empuja!" Praxis lo alenta.  
  
"Empuja, puta," Deimos murmura bajo el aliento.  
  
"Callete!" Cain grita. "Estoy ocupado!" Chilla y vocifera por veinte horas sin parar. Finalmente el medico levanta un nino con pelo castano y piel palida. Sus ojos son el color de hielo.  
  
Deimos sonrie. El nino es suyo! Eso tonto Praxis probablemente piensa que los besos crea un nino.  
  
Pero Cain todavia grita! Empuja muy fuerte y surge otro nino! Esto nino tiene pelo castano tambien, pero tiene solo uno ojo marrone--el otro esta cubierto por una marca de nacimiento que parece un parche en el ojo. Su nariz es muy grande por un bebe.

Praxis sonrie. Esto debe ser su nino! "Creo que lo llamare...Marcus," dice.  
  
"No puedes nombrarlo!" Cain grune. "Estos son MIS ninos! Los llevo en mi vientre! Rudito y Ciclopito, bienvenidos a mis tetas!"  
  
Y asi fue que Rudito y Ciclopito nacieron, no con Los Tres Reyes Magos asistiendo, pero con tres padres estupidos. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translation: 
> 
> After Deimos and Praxis fight with knives for his honor, Cain goes into premature labor out of fear. The three parents need to get to the hospital fast!
> 
> "Wear your seatbelt, Cain!" Praxis says. "Safety first! Think of the child!"
> 
> "My god you are stupid," Cain responds. "We're in a bus, not a car! You see any seatbelts here?"
> 
> Deimos goes to the front and cuts off the bus driver's seatbelt. He returns to Cain and gives him the belt with an innocent smile.
> 
> "Thank you," the pregnant man says. He puts on the seatbelt over his own belt.
> 
> Praxis' mouth opens, but no sound escapes.
> 
> Deimos returns to the front and kills the bus driver--the idiot was driving too slow. He pushes him out, and sits down in the driver's seat. The bus complains but finally hits 80 mph.
> 
> The bus crashes through the hospital window. Nurses scream. Deimos and Praxis carry the groaning Cain through the bus door and into the emergency room.
> 
> "We need a doctor now!" Praxis shouts. "This man is in labor!"
> 
> Everyone stares. Deimos brandishes his knife at a doctor, and the doctor pales. Within 5 minutes, Cain is on a stretcher and on his way to the birthing room.
> 
> "Push, Cain, push!" Praxis encourages him.
> 
> "Push, whore," Deimos mutters under his breath. [translation note: the words for "push" and "whore" sound kind of similar.]
> 
> "Shut up!" Cain yells. "I'm busy!" He howls and shrieks nonstop for 20 hours. Finally the doctor lifts up a baby boy with dark hair and pale skin. His eyes are the color of ice.
> 
> Deimos smiles. The baby is his! That stupid Praxis probably thinks kissing makes a baby.
> 
> But Cain still keeps on yelling! He pushes hard and another baby comes out! This baby also has dark hair, but he has only one brown eye--the other is covered up by a birthmark that looks like an eyepatch. His nose is very big for a baby. 
> 
> Praxis smiles. This must be his baby! "I think I'll call him...Marcus," he says.
> 
> "You can't name him!" Cain snarls. "These are MY babies! I carried them in my belly! Lil Badass and Lil Cyclops, welcome to my tits!"
> 
> And so it was that Rudito and Ciclopito were born, not with three Wise Men attending, but with three dumbass dads.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Un baiser amoureux](https://archiveofourown.org/works/17330732) by [GoodyearTheShippyCat](https://archiveofourown.org/users/GoodyearTheShippyCat/pseuds/GoodyearTheShippyCat)




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